My Own Worst Critic

I am my own worst critic. It’s true. The blog alone has been altered and tweaked several times because of it. My writing, many times, doesn’t even make it to the second edit because I am too busy picking it apart.

There are, sadly to say, many books that have articles, blogs, short stories, etc. These writings have never seen the light of day. Not for any other reason than after I wrote it – I didn’t like it. Or worse yet I didn’t think anyone else would like it.

Story of my life – literally. The reason I have not written the story of my life is because, well frankly, I ripped it to shreds in the editing process. Totally obliterated the poor thing. I mean, I really picked it apart – crossing things out, adding stuff in. Editing my own work has become a nightmare. The bigger nightmare, however, is the large stack of notebooks and binders just waiting to be utilized on a website or in a book.

The Stack, as I call it, used to sit on a shelf. Now, they’ve migrated to the basement. There is just too many of them and not enough room. Each time I descend the stairs to retrieve something, The Stack calls to me. I know The Stack wants me to share it with the rest of the world, but I’m not too sure how that’s going to work out.

Seriously, The Stack mocks me and I have no answer for it. There is no remedy for my excessive need to overly critique myself. I’ve tried to get around and over it. Maybe if I throw caution to the wind I can deal, but that would mean no editing, which in the writing world is an absolute No-No.

Even as I type this blog, every time I see a red or green line I just have to go and fix it. It’s ridiculous really. I guess the slight fact that I may or may not be a perfectionist has much or a little to do with it.

With the amount of work that I do for my clients, it is getting harder and harder to make it back to The Stack. It also doesn’t help that I keep, sort of adding to The Stack. I know it’s not right, but I can’t help myself. This brain goes a mile a minute and I just want to keep up. Honestly, I know I am crippling my own ambitions.

There is enough information in The Stack that I could quite possibly be in a much better position. That’s not a guarantee because what I may think is great, someone else may not. However, it’s the quantity of work that there will more than likely be quality to the masses.

Little by little I must figure out a way to not be so hard on The Stack. You know, allow it to get to know other people. I need to find a way to not be so critical when I am critiquing. Sharing is most definitely Caring and The Stack surely needs some TLC.

 

Photos by Vichie81 and photostock

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2 thoughts on “My Own Worst Critic

  1. Same here. I am my own writing nemesis. I found a sense of relief and closure when I paid another writer to edit/critique my work. I needed another brain, another set of eyes, another perspective besides my own. Of course, that was the novel draft. When it comes to poetry, I just let it go as it pleases. And yes, there are literal VOLUMES in my closet of stuff I’ve written and/or expressed over the years. Perhaps the children will stumble upon it long after I’m gone and strike it rich. (Just kidding:-)

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    • Well it’s good that you found someone to be your second set of eyes. I’m so self conscious sometimes that I get nervous to let anyone help. Although that is something that I’ve begun to look into so I no longer torture myself with edits. Funny thing is, as far as my children finding my “volumes” and striking it rich, that may possibly happen with my mountain of work. lol.

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