This Is How I Feel

I know growin’ up with me was tough
There were some things that just made it rough
I understand it was hard dealin’ with me
The pain I really felt I want you to see
While you feel I shouldn’t have had a gripe
I was labeled as the black sheep, loner type
You say that I isolated myself
What would you do if stuff happened and your fam never helped
You argue that I wouldn’t talk about anything
When I tried ya’ll told me to go to therapy and don’t lie about anything
Probably stopped reading this by now
That’s what usually happens when the truth comes out
Hopefully you care enough to look back at the page
Truly understand why I feel such rage
I agree I was provided for and kept in good health
Yet my mental was slipping cuz I emotionally fended for self
Apparently I was treated the same as my other two sibs
They were outside talkin’ about me to other kids
Okay so you supposedly tried to make it right
How so when I was blamed for every single fight
Yes, there’s a reaction for every action
So why do you think I reacted in such a fashion
As I got older I made all my decisions
I knew if I came to you, you wouldn’t listen
You really think I hated all of you
Funny, for so long I just wanted to fit in with you
Of course I wouldn’t have minded my stamp on my family’s coat of arms
Now I just accept that things are what they are
Oh, you weren’t aware of this frame of mind
I truly got over fitting in with time
Why would I still want to conform
I’ve been different from ya’ll since the day I was born
No, I’m not mad after all these years
Just wanted to explain all my tears
For the one’s who never thought my pain was real
This is an image of how I feel

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